FOR A LONG TIME I SAW THE WORLD AS A MOSAIC.
NOT IN A POETIC OR POLITICAL WAY, BUT IN AN
EVER DETERIORATING WAY, WHERE OBJECTS
TOOK ON THE SHADE OF OATMEAL, NO BLUES
existed in my spectrum, only greens and yellows,
blending into a fog. Even my green eyes seemed
an odd, shadowy color. Which I just attributed to...
well, I'm getting older, aren't I?
I continued to "do" my art, collages still had their
texture and balance, exploration and originality
were never denied. But, aha, I'm also a makeup
artist and I persued that, as usual. I know where
your mouth is, those two orbs are your eyes.
Up close and personal, my style! Everyone
became as gorgeous as could be. From habit.
But I was failing. Walking down a long flight
of stairs, someone actually approached me
and asked if they could help me. Startled,
I thanked them and declined, stubborn within
my realization that the moment had come
to get real.
I've completed two successful surgeries recently,
and the amazing result immediately was seeing
the color blue again. And the astonishing outlines
around people, they lost their amoebic shape.
Me...I didn't look as soft and flawless anymore.
What's that? Freckles? Lines? My own face, hidden
from me for so long, tucked away in my dream of
myself, revealed at last! So that's what I look like,
and no one's run away ?
In the next few weeks, more work to be done, just
to perfect the total reclamation of my vision. I, a
long time embracer of fear and doubt, have released
myself. That eye below, not only can I do it, but
I can be it, if the crazy occasion ever arises!