Monday, November 14, 2011

MAGPIE/ Prompt #91



A MYSTERIOUS PHOTO points me in the direction of a Pantoum...thanks to Tess Kincaid at Magpie Tales.


FOLLOW ME
Follow me,
take any chair you wish,
you're the first to arrive.
But why so early?

Take any chair you wish,
I can feel your bated breath,
but why so early?
Your heart's beating a tattoo.

I can feel your bated breath,
a damp anticipation.
Your heart's beating a tattoo.
Stay.

A damp anticipation,
here's what you came for.
Stay.
Crowd's already rushing.

Here's what you came for,
footsteps in the sand,
crowd's already rushing,
darting here and there.

Footsteps in the sand,
you're the first to arrive,
darting here and there.
Follow me.


copyright/ all rights reserved/ 2011

http://www.minblu.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/lynxny

34 comments:

Brian Miller said...

excellent..great use of form...and love the feel of damp with anticipation...the heart beating tattoo...nice use of repitition...

Lyn said...

Hi Brian-
Thank you so much..the Pantoum form does most of the work..I myself wonder where it's going!!

Sue said...

This is why I like forms. They take you such interesting places.

Well done!

=)

Lyn said...

Hi Sue-
I so agree..those forms rescue me!! thank you!!

Blue Sky Dreaming said...

The repetition so works...a chant, a flirtation...magical.

Isabel Doyle said...

fabulous pantoum Lyn

Laurie Kolp said...

I'm a fan of forms, too, and this one was perfect for the prompt!

Doctor FTSE said...

Very well done within the demands of the pantoum form.

Lyn said...

Hi Blue Sky Dreaming-
thank you!! Sometimes I feel that I could go on and on with the verses...

Lyn said...

Hi Isabel-
So pleased that you liked this..thank you!

Lyn said...

Hi Laurie-
I'm so glad that this form exists, it is such an amazing style...thank you!

Lyn said...

Hi Doctor FTSE-
Thank you for your comment..as you can see, I really like this form!

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Woah, that Magpie photo has created a whole bunch of great offshoots of poems and stories. I really enjoyed this one.

thingy said...

I'm going to have to try this form. You have created a wonderful write. : )

Carrie Burtt said...

A new favorite of yours for me Lyn....love the repitition....so captivating and magical! :-)

Morning said...

romantic and beautiful.

Jeane said...

this points up how little I know about writing poetry and all the different 'forms'? - as always is feels very Lynesque - xo

Lyn said...

Hi Sub-Radar-Mike-
Welcome..glad you dropped by and I so appreciate your comment...thanks!

Lyn said...

Hi thingy-
I encourage you to try a pantoum, there's a very precise progression..have fun!!

Lyn said...

Hi Carrie-
Lovely thing to say! I love magical...thanks!!

Lyn said...

Hi Morning-
Very nice...thank you so much!

Lyn said...

Hi Jeane-
Thank you..so glad to have achieved Lynesque status...leave it to you, my friend!!

phil said...

That's good enough to set to music, Lyn.

8^)

Lyn said...

Hi phil-
I'll leave it to you to do the singing! Thanks...

Tumblewords: said...

Terrific form - love this!

Lyn said...

Hi Tumblewords-
It is a great form..it's an adventure! Thanks...

Friko said...

I've got to try this, it's not a form I've done before.

Amazing, how it makes sense at the end.

Lyn said...

Hi Friko-
I hope you do try this, and it makes sense because the arc is built in..first line/ last line, the same. The pantoum always leads us where it wants to go..remember, the 2nd and 4th lines become the
1st and 3rd in the next stanza...the last stanza breaks that rule!! Thanks...

Everyday Goddess said...

you always have such great expression, no matter what the form!

Lyn said...

Hi Everyday Goddess-
How kind of you..we keep trying, don't we? Thanks...

Berowne said...

Lively, engaging take on the prompt...

Lyn said...

Hi Berowne-
Thank you... a pantoum usually does it for me!

Ginger said...

I love the look and feel of your site. I love your attitude of creativity. A little note here, though. The credit for the photographer on this post is Rosie Hardy (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosie_hardy/3061764656) You might want to add that and let Magpie Tales know it too. It's always a good thing to credit people whenever we can. Artists need to be recognized for their work!

Lyn said...

Hi Ginger-
So pleased with your lovely comment..and thanks for pointing out the photographer of this enigmatic work..I checked the site..worth visiting..

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